For many, romantic relationships are a cornerstone of a fulfilling life, and the quality of these connections plays a significant role in overall happiness. However, maintaining a healthy relationship isn’t always easy. With nearly half of U.S. marriages ending in divorce, distressed couples often cite communication breakdowns as a leading cause of conflict.
Communication, particularly conflict negotiation, is positively associated with relationship satisfaction and stability. Many interventions target communication as the instrument of change for couples struggling in romantic relationships, and highlight the importance of navigating relationship conflict in an agreeable and loving manner.
Research suggests that long-term relationship satisfaction is directly related to how couples communicate about problems, and interpretations of their partners’ interactions are influenced by their own perceptions and attributions of their partners' intentions, and the conveyed meaning of the interaction, which in turn influences relationship stability and satisfaction over time.
Conflict resolution has been linked to various aspects of intimate relationships, including
satisfaction, duration, stability, and partners willingness to work through issues as a team. In the heat of the moment, it's important to take time to think about your feelings before starting an argument with your partner.
Below are 10 tips for women on how to navigate and resolve relationship conflict.
10 Tips for Fighting Fair
Slow things down and take time to think about your feelings before starting an argument.
Discuss one topic at a time. Conflicts that get off-topic are more likely to get heated, and less likely to solve the problem.
No degrading language. No put-downs, swearing, or name-calling. Degrading language is an attempt to express negative feelings while making sure your partner feels just as bad.
Discuss the issue, not the person.
Express your feelings with words. Structure your sentences as “I” statements (“I feel scared when you yell”) to express how you feel while taking responsibility for your emotions.
Take turns speaking. Give your full attention while your partner speaks. Avoid thinking about what you want to say or correcting your partner. Your only job is to understand their point of view, even if you disagree.
No interrupting. If you find it difficult to not interrupt, try setting a timer allowing 1-2 minutes for each person to speak.
No stonewalling. At times it seems the easiest way to respond to an argument is to refuse to speak and retreat in your shell: this is called stonewalling. You might feel better temporarily, but the issue will remain unresolved and your partner will feel more distant and upset.
No yelling. Yelling does not help anyone see your point of view. Instead, it sends the message that only your words matter. Even if yelling intimidates your partner into giving up, the underlying problem will only worsen.
Take a time-out if things get too heated. Agree on a time to come back and discuss the problem after things have cooled down.
Relationship counseling focuses on navigating conflict through healthy engagement characterized by open, direct communication. Both partners' interests and ideas are taken into account, eliminating destructive engagement involving criticism, hostility, and avoidance.
Relationship counseling allows the couple to manage and resolve relationship conflict in a safe, controlled environment. Conflict resolution is achieved by working with a counselor to incorporate changes in thoughts, feelings and motivations for both individuals in the relationship.
If you’re struggling with fighting fair or find it challenging to navigate conflict in your relationship, we invite you to contact us to get matched with a relationship counselor dedicated to guiding you through practical strategies for resolving relationship conflict.
Her Time Therapy is an integrative group counseling practice comprised of licensed therapists in Colorado who specialize in providing convenient and empowering online therapy for women.
You can feel confident working with a Her Time therapist because we recognize that
women like you experience a unique set of biological, environmental, economic, and social challenges that have a real impact on your mental health that is deserving of specialized support to help you explore your relationship with yourself and your loved ones.
Call/Text (720) 255-1667 | info@hertimetherapy.com | www.hertimetherapy.com
Kimberly Gaona is a Clinical Mental Health Graduate Student Intern offering affordable counseling services to Her Time Therapy Clients under the supervision of Meagan Clark, MA LPC NCC BC-TMH, and Adams State University professors. Kimberly is passionate about helping women who are struggling with chronic stress, cross-cultural issues, anxiety, burnout, and relationship issues.
*Disclaimer: This blog does not provide medical advice and the information contained herein is for informational purposes only. This blog is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of a licensed health provider before undertaking a new treatment or health care regimen.
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